Healing Hearts (Sequel)
by Caskettastic
Summary: Castle and Kate are faced with a tragic obstacle in building their family. How do they cope? read on to find out. The story maybe a little too dark in the beginning, but I promise a happy ending for the family :)
1. Chapter 1

**AN: If you haven't read Healing Hearts before this, I suggest you read that one first and then get to this, cause this one's a sequel :) trust me, that's a good read too :)**

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle.

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Chapter 1

Rick Castle walked around the kitchen island to where his wife was cooking up a few omelettes, he put his arms around her and kissed her cheek softly saying "Good morning Mrs. Castle!"  
She placed two omelettes on two plates in front of her and the turned her head a bit to kiss those talented lips.

"Mmm" she hummed "Good morning"  
he kissed her some more and his hand wandered down to her pregnant belly, she was now 6 month's pregnant and she was glowing. Her beauty only seemed to increase with each day. She turned in his arms to face him, and he kissed her some more

"did she wake you this morning?" he asked.

Kate laughed. "Yea, she beat you to it."

The past few weeks, it wasn't rare that their little girl in Kate's womb would kick against Kate's tummy early in the morning and wake her up. And Kate would try to calm her down by humming a soft lullaby.

"I think I'm getting old"

Kate laughed again "No, you were tired. I gave you a hard time yesterday, didn't I?"

He looked at her

"I'm sorry"

* * *

The earlier evening, she had kept castle on his toes. They had hardly reached home after a long tiring day at the precinct and Kate was hungry as hell. Castle quickly cooked up something he knew she'd like, but by the time it was ready, Kate had a craving for Chinese take-out.

And castle was never one to deny her something. The only task was that the place she wanted to eat from, didn't deliver and so he had to go pick the food up himself. When he came back, Kate was in the kitchen, eating some of the food he had cooked up for her earlier.

"Sorry, I got really hungry"  
she said to him with a smile. He smiled back. He knew she'd still eat the Chinese. She was eating for two.

"That's alright; you want to eat the Chinese now? Or later?"

"I think I'll eat later"

she was already in her PJs completely comfortable and at home. He kept the food in the kitchen and then went to their room to change and get into something comfortable too. When he came back out, Kate was on the couch, struggling to adjust the pillows behind her back. He walked up to her and said

"let me" she smiled and he set them just the way she needed.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm okay, it's just my feet are killing me"

"here, let me give them a massage, you'll feel better" he sat at the other end of the couch and took her feet on his lap

"Castle, don't you want to eat, aren't you hungry?"

"I'm alright, I can eat later. You just relax"

Kate looked at him with eyes of love. He was undoubtedly the best husband any pregnant woman could have. And he was all hers.

When his thumbs pressed into her heal, she let her head fall back; her eyes close and a soft relieved moan left her lips. He concentrated more on pressing that part of her foot then.

"You should really apply for that leave now Kate. I can see you need it"

she looked up at him "I'm alright Castle. I won't need that leave until maybe another few weeks"

"No Kate, why can't you understand, all this strain can't be good for you or her"

Kate's face changed then, she sat up straighter, pulled her feet away from his hands and put them down and said

"I'm alright, thanks." She then got up and went through his study and into their bedroom. And Castle knew he had upset her again. This topic had been a very sensitive one. Every time he tried to bring it up, tried to tell her to apply for leave, she'd argue that it wasn't time yet, and then if he tried to refute some more, she'd get upset with him.

He ran a hand down his face. He had no intention of upsetting her, really. He got up and walked in behind her. He was really tired and his body ached for sleep.

"Kate..." he called out just before entering the room. She was seated in their bed, reading a book. She looked up at him.

"I didn't mean to…"

"Rick, what time did Avril say she'll be home?"

He looked at his watch, it was almost 10pm. Just then he heard the front door open and close.

"Mom, Dad?" I'm home!"

"In here, Avril" he called out and then turned back to Kate.

"She's home"

Avril came to his side and hugged him and said "Alexis called me, said she couldn't get through to you, said she'll be at the morgue another hour and to not wait up for her."

"Oh okay." He kissed her head and then she ran to go sit beside her mom.

Kate kept her book away and Avril plopped herself beside her "So, how was your little study date"

"was good. How was your day? Did you guys catch him?"

"He's behind bars"

"was it you? Or dad?"

"Your dad found the missing puzzle piece this time"

"Awesome" she said with that proud gleam in her eyes.

Castle then walked towards the bathroom. He needed to take a shower. So he gave mother and daughter some alone time.

When he got done, he came out to find their bed empty and he could hear laughter from the living room. He walked out to find them on the couch watching a movie together.

He joined them then with his plate and two other plates for them served with the Chinese take-out he had bought. But even before he could take his first bite, Kate said "I'm not feeling too hungry yet Castle."

"OH… okay..." he kept his plate down on the table and took hers back to the kitchen. They spent the next half hour watching the movie together, until Avril yawned and said she had to get to bed, she kissed them both goodnight, and went up to her room to sleep.

Castle turned to Kate and said "Are you feeling hungry now honey?"

"Rick, why are you forcing me to do things I don't want to?" she snapped.

He was startled with her sudden outburst "No, I'm not... I mean... I just…"

"I'm alright. Just stop being so paranoid" she said firmly to him.

Why did her moods swing only with him? He wondered.

She then got up and held her back. He wanted to ask her if she's in any pain, but he knew it would make things worse if he spoke. So he just kept watching her. She stood for a moment and then said

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight"

she walked off. Castle sighed. He then went into the kitchen, cleared up the place and finally entered their bedroom. Kate was lying down, Facing the other way. He got in bed with her and said "Kate?"

She turned to him and he said "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to upset you"

immediately, without even a word, she scooted closer to him and snuggled up to him. "I'm really tired"

"I know... sleep baby. I love you. I love you both"

And he felt her smile against him as she drifted off to sleep.

He was suddenly roused from his sleep when he felt movement in the bed. He opened his eyes, and squinted in the darkness to find Kate getting out of bed. Immediately he sat up, panic growing within him "Kate?"

She turned to find him awake "Go back to sleep castle. I'm fine" she said with a smile. And he breathed a sigh of relief.  
"I'm just... hungry"

"Wait, don't get up"  
he quickly got out of bed and said "I'll get you something. You just stay put."

She didn't argue with him. He came back with a plate of food for her, and insisted that he feed her. She saw the tiredness in his eyes and she really felt bad now for the way she'd been treating him all evening.

Here he was, feeding her dinner in the middle of the night. Doing things for her she could really do herself just because he didn't want her to upset her rest. But what about his? Why does he keep sacrificing his comfort for her? Right, he was Richard Castle. The sweetest husband in the world.

When he returned back after washing the plate and keeping everything back in place, he said "Alexis is fast asleep. I went to check on her before coming back in here"

"I was wondering what time she'd get home." Kate said.

He crawled back into bed then and she wasted no time in showing him just how much she appreciates him. She leaned in a little over him and kissed him with passion. And he responded with just as much love as she poured out. And they made love until sleep took over them again.

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**Reviews? :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: we're back in the present now. :)**

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle

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Chapter 2

"I'm sorry" she said now to him, with those eyes that he couldn't ever be angry with.

"I admit I was really tired last night, but everything I did for you was with pleasure"

she smiled. "You don't have to lie Castle. I know you probably wanted to yell at me when I snapped at you"

"No, I would never."

she kissed him again then, to show him just how much she appreciated everything he was doing for her and their little baby girl.

"I'll try to keep my mood swings in check"

he chuckled. Just then Avril came running downstairs and Plopped herself on a stool at the kitchen counter.

"Good morning" she chirped.

Their attention moved to her and they greeted her too. Kate served her breakfast and then started the coffee for Castle. He sat down beside Avril and said "So, what are your plans for today?"

"Well, school's going to re-open soon, and I'm running out of clothes to wear. I think I'm going to go shopping today"

"ooo, can I come along?"

"What? Dad! No!"

"Why not?" he whined. Kate chuckled to herself.

"Because… well, I'm going with my friends"

"Ahem... You mean friend" Kate interrupted

Castle's eye's widened  
"Ahhh... so there's a boy"

"What? Who said anything about a boy?" she began to panic and she gave her mom a look. And Kate smiled that mischievous smile.

"Oh come on... you can tell me if you have a boyfriend Avril"

"No, I will not."

"You told Kate"

"No I didn't"

she was in complete denial. Just then Alexis ran downstairs and kissed her dad good morning.  
She went to Kate's side and kissed her cheek too and said "Good morning Kate. I'm sorry; I got in so late last night. There was some work I told I'd complete before leaving"

"Lanie would never hold it against you if you had to leave it for today" castle explained.

"Yea, I know. But I wanted to complete it"

Suddenly Kate felt a kick again, and her hand immediately went to her tummy. Castle, who always had Kate in his periphery vision, noticed her hand fly to her tummy at once.

"Are you okay?"

"Yea, she's just kicking again"

"Can I feel?" Alexis asked from beside Kate.

Kate smiled "off course honey"

she placed her hand on her belly and Alexis suddenly felt a nudge and she burst out into gasps of laughter. "Wow!"

Castle was watching the smile on Kate's face. He could never get enough of her. She was beautiful. And she was his. These two young teenagers, they were his girls too. And the unborn one too, all his. He felt proud.

He was sipping on his coffee when Alexis just got done with her breakfast and stood up and said "Okay, I'm off. Got any early start at the morgue today"

"Alexis, don't you think you're working yourself too much for this internship. Sit down, I'll make you another omelette" Kate insisted.

"No, really, I'm stuffed. Thanks. I better get going" she said good bye to them and then tapped Avril on the shoulder. "Call me when you guys are done okay"

Castle looked at Avril suspiciously after Alexis had left.  
"What? We're meeting Alexis for lunch" Avril explained to her dad.

"So Alexis gets too meet your boyfriend, but you won't tell me anything?"

Kate was finding all of this very entertaining.

"Mom!" she whined.

"Let her be Castle, she'll tell us soon enough"

Castle faked disappointment. Avril finished her glass of orange juice, stood up and planted a noisy wet kiss on her father's cheek and said "Don't look so sad, it doesn't suit you"

he smiled. "Tell your mom that. She insists that she doesn't need a leave yet and that makes me sad"

Kate gave him a look. And he knew he had to keep his mouth shut.

"If there's one thing you should have learned about my mom by now, is that she is stubborn. And she's married to her job. You're just an affair" she teased and Kate laughed.

"Where did you come up with that one?" she asked her daughter.

"Well, then Mrs. 12th precinct. You're in big trouble" he sipped on his coffee.

"Why so?" she asked.

"Cause your affair, knocked you up. Now you should have no face to show the precinct."

"Anything to stop me from going to work ha?" she spoke with a smile.

"Okay, you guys can continue this after I'm gone." She went around to Kate's side and said "Mom, could you give me some extra cash?"

Rick heard her and put his coffee mug down.

"Uhhh... yea..." Kate though for a moment. She had used up her liquid cash last evening when they had stopped at the ice-cream store before coming home. She needed to withdraw some from the bank today or go to the ATM before going to the precinct.

"Why don't you take my ATM card and…"

"No. no... Wait." Rick said. "What is it? You need cash?"

"Yea, I would have given some to her, but I'm going to need to withdraw some today."

"No, there's no need for that... here. Come here."

Avril walked up to him and he opened his wallet and removed his credit card and said "here, take this. You can use this today, and I'll call my bank today and tell them to issues another credit card in my name for you"

"Rick…"

"No, Kate, don't tell me I don't have to do this. In fact, I'm surprised I haven't already given you a card"

"castle, she shouldn't have a credit card yet."

"Why not, she's old enough to spend responsibly now"

Avril kept looking on from her mom to her dad. But with a huge smile on her face. Because she knew her dad was winning and she was getting a credit card.

"No, I insist she keeps one with her at all times. Alexis has a card too. I just don't want her to ever fall short of cash if she really needs it."

"Okay." Kate agreed. She then looked at Avril. "Behave. I don't want you spending irresponsibly."

"I won't I promise." She turned back to Castle then and said "Thanks dad" and ran out the door.  
Kate walked up to castle, and he turned his bar stool to face her. He took her hands and pulled her closer to stand between his knees.

"You're a good father you know that" he smiled and she leaned down to kiss him." he stood up when she pulled away and said "I know. But I love when you remind me"

"Alexis, Avril, they're both lucky to have you"

"You're forgetting this little one here"  
he said and placed his hand at the side of her belly. And as if on cue, she kicked.

Kate laughed and said "I didn't forget her. She's ours."

He knew all too well why she stressed on the word "ours".

Biologically, Alexis was his and his ex-wife's daughter and Avril was Kate's and her ex-husband's daughter. Nevertheless, they both loved the two young girls to the moon and back equally.

But this little unborn child was a fruit of their love for each other. She was proof that they will always love each other no matter what. Rick couldn't wait for the day he could hold this little baby girl in his arms.

He kissed her again, this time; he pulled her closer to him and sought entrance between her lips with his tongue. She opened up for him willingly and he kissed her like he did on their first night together. It felt that way to her too.

Every time he kissed her, it felt new, refreshing; it awakened something in her that only he had power over. She was currently melting in his arms and she never wanted this feeling to ever go away.

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**well, what do you think? :) let me know in a review :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

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Chapter 3

Her phone had to be the one to interrupt her though. She lightly tugged at his t-shirt and he pulled away.

"Kate, don't get upset with me... just hear me out. Apply for that leave please…"  
she looked down and then back at him.

"Castle, I can feel her in me, I know what she's feeling at all times. I know it when she's upset; I know when she's glad. I will know it when she's had enough of anything, including my time at work."

"And what about you? You're not thinking about the rest you need. Everything you go through, she goes through too."

She looked into his eyes with care now, held his face in her hands and said "She's our baby Castle; I care about her just as much as you do, perhaps even more because she's in me. Now, I know I'm fine. And she's safe. I promise you, I will not let anything happen to her or me"

Rick looked at her for a moment and then nodded. "Okay. Just... keep that promise."

"You know I will." she kissed him once more and then went about getting ready to leave for the precinct. Castle would go to the bank first, get everything sorted and then meet her there.

The topic never arose again, until a few weeks later.

* * *

Alexis and Avril were both sitting on the couch. Alexis was reading a novel and Avril was watching something on TV. They heard their parents' voices from outside the loft and knew they were home. The door then opened and they walked in, and that's when the young girls realized they were having a heated argument about something.

"I don't get it Castle, Why are you making such a big deal out of this?"

"Why am 'I' making a big deal? Because, well, if you haven't noticed, I'm the father Kate!"

"I know what I'm doing Castle! Just stop!"

"No. I'm not ending this here. Not until you agree to call captain gates up and take that leave."

"Castle! I'll take my leave next week!" her anger now, very evident in her body language.

"No Kate. You're going to apply for it first thing tomorrow morning. If you don't I'm going to ask captain gates to put you on desk duty straight away…" and even before he finished

"Castle!" she snapped.  
She spoke then at the loudest volume they had ever heard her  
"Stop! Just stop! You are not going to do anything of the sort! This is my life; I know what I'm doing"

"What are you trying to prove Kate? And to who?"

"I'm not trying to prove anything!"

"Then why are you trying to be this 'supermom'. Putting your life at risk every single day along with hers?"

"I'm not trying to be anyone…"

"Kate…"

"RICK! I don't want to hear anymore. That's it. I'm tired and I really don't want to talk about this!"

"But I want to."

"Then I won't talk to you!" she said bitterly and walked on into their room.

Castle wiped his hand down his face.

"Dad, her blood pressure…" Alexis reminded him.

"I know…"

"Both of you need to cool down." Alexis said.

He came and sat between them on the couch. "She's not going to talk to me tonight" he said.

He began pressing his temples. His head was aching too. He was beginning to worry too much about her and their baby girl. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Sweetie, could you take a glass of water to her, and see that she calms down."

"On it."

Alexis said and got up to tend to Kate. After she was out of sight, Rick felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at Avril.

"Can I get you anything? You look really worn out"

he smiled. "I am… I'm... Avril, I'm really worried for Kate. She's being so stubborn; she just won't listen to me..."

"I know, it worries me too..." he put his arm around her and pulled her into his embrace.

"I'll talk to her. Maybe she'll listen to me" she said.

"Thank you"

"I love you dad. She doesn't see how much you care for her"

"it's not that. She sees it. She got used to doing it all on her own when she had you. That's why it's hard for her to listen to me this time around"

"I'm sorry"

"no one's to blame honey" he kissed her on the head.

Alexis came back out and said "She's alright for now dad. Don't worry. Why don't you go freshen up? I'll serve you guys dinner"

When he went back into the room, Kate wasn't in bed. But he heard the noise of the shower and knew she was in. He changed into more comfortable clothing and then sat there, waiting for her to come out.

She walked out 10 minutes later in her slacks and her oversized t-shirt, wiping her hair with a towel.  
"Shall I bring your dinner in here? Or you want to go out and eat?" he asked.

"I'm not hungry" he expected it.

"Kate…" he tried to talk her into eating something.

"Please don't…"

He got up then and walked out.  
Alexis was serving two plates when he stopped her and said, "Just serve one plate honey."

she didn't question him, she did as she was told.

"Thank you" he said and she kissed him on the cheek and said "Goodnight dad. Don't stress so much, she'll come around"

"Thank you sweet heart"

* * *

Kate sat on her bed. She closed her eyes. 'Breathe in- breathe out' she repeated in her head. She knew it wasn't good for her to get so excited and hyper. It could lead to so many complications.  
She softly rubbed her hand over her tummy.

"Mommy's sorry baby. I didn't mean to upset you in there." She really didn't mean for this to escalate so badly. She hated fighting Castle about this. She knew he only meant well and she was being stubborn about this. She just felt strongly that she can handle work along with being pregnant.

She wasn't weak and neither was she disabled. Being pregnant never stopped her from leading a normal life before then why now. And she hated that this was such an issue between them. Deep down she knew he was right. But why was she finding it so hard to just admit it.

She knew how much it hurt Castle every time she snapped at him, and she also knew how much it would upset their child. This was something she had realized in these past few months, their little girl was just as in sync with her father as she was with her mother. It was beyond Kate how that worked. But if Castle was upset with her, their baby knew.

"Mommy didn't mean to snap at daddy either. We both love you."

Just then she heard a knock on the door. She looked up to find Alexis and Avril there.

"Hey…"

"Hey girls, come in..." they walked in and Avril climbed into the bed to sit beside Kate, while Alexis took a seat near Kate's knees. She had a plate in her hand, covered with another plate. She placed it on the table beside the bed.

Kate watched her "Did your dad send you two in here?"

"No, we actually came to say goodnight" Avril said.

Kate kissed her forehead and said "I love you both."

"we love you too Kate." Alexis said with a smile and reached for Kate's hand.

"I'm sorry about.. well, we made quite an entry" she smiled sadly.

"You did, but.. it's alright, we get it"

"Where's your dad now?" Kate asked.

"He's sitting at the dining table"

"He's having dinner?" she asked.

"No. he said he isn't hungry" Alexis said.

He wasn't eating and that made Kate feel horrible.

Kate looked down. "Is he alright?" she asked without actually looking up at any of them.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Avril told her.

She looked toward the window now, not wanting the girls to see the tears moistening her eyes, threatening to fall. She knew she was giving him a hard time. And he was being nothing but caring. Even now, he was keeping space between them just for her. Subconsciously, she wanted him near.

"I think we should let you sleep. Goodnight Kate" Alexis said softly.

She hugged her and stood up. And then Avril put her head on her mom's shoulder and said "You always tell me he's the best thing that's ever happened to you, don't push him out mom. He cares for you so much."

At that a tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away real quick.

Avril kissed her and then the two young girls left the room. Kate looked at the plate beside her and thought for a moment. She was hungry and so was their baby.

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**Review? :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

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Chapter 4

When Castle entered their bedroom, he found Kate eating the last spoon of food from her plate. She hadn't noticed him at the door. He watched her swallow the last bite and then have a glass of water from the bedside table. She spotted him when she put the glass back down.

He didn't say a word. Instead he walked to his side of the bed and sat down. He opened a drawer and began rummaging through it, searching for something. She watched him. He didn't find what he was searching for. He got up and went into the bathroom, and she could hear him looking through the cabinet there where they kept the pills. She couldn't help but wonder what's wrong.

"What are you searching for?" she asked when he was back out.

"I need a pain killer"

she opened the drawer beside her and took out a small bottle of pills and held it out to him.

"What hurts?" she asked with too much concern

he wanted to laugh at that statement. What doesn't hurt right now would be an apt question. But he didn't say anything.

"It's nothing, don't worry"

"Please tell me..."

'What happened to the 'please don't' he thought. But didn't voice it out.

He said nothing. He took the bottle of pills from her. Popped two into his mouth and she handed him a glass of water. He drank from it quietly. He then took his shirt off and kept it on the chair at the corner of the room; he walked back into the bathroom, splashed some water on his face and head and came out towelling his hair, wearing only his boxers.

"Rick..."

"It's nothing... my head hurts"

"you didn't have dinner"

"I wasn't hungry"

she couldn't say another word to him. He was giving back to her what she gave to him: stubbornness.

And it hurt her that he wasn't eating. She knew there was no possible way he wasn't hungry after such a long tiring day. He got into bed and pulled the covers over himself, the only thing he said to her then was "If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to wake me up please. If not for you, at least for her."

And it stung. It stung so bad she wanted to cry. She wanted to cuddle into his arms and tell him she was sorry for being so stubborn, for fighting him. She wanted to tell him that she'll take that leave.

For her, for their daughter and for him. She hated that he was in pain, and only cause of her. He was facing the other way. So she slid down in bed, lying on her back.

"Babe… Rick..?"

"hmmm?" he asked.

"She wants her daddy."

He turned around then and placed his hand on her tummy. And spoke to no one in particular and said "daddy's right here"

He wasn't touching her. He was touching their baby. And she understood why he was keeping that distance. She had asked for it.  
He leaned in over her then and placed a soft kiss on her tummy and Kate couldn't resist running her fingers through his soft hair, appreciating his small gesture.

He was fast asleep now. And she was watching his sleeping form. She loved this man more than anything in her life and she hated that she was giving him such a hard time. She fell asleep watching the slow rise and fall of his chest.  
And when she awoke in the morning, he was gone.

There was a note on his pillow that read. "Needed a run. Will be back soon."

She got up from her bed and quickly showered and brushed. She dressed for work and then went downstairs to get breakfast started.

"Where's dad?" Avril asked when she and Alexis came downstairs for breakfast.

"He went for a run. Said he'll be back soon" she said. Not looking at either of them directly.

"You're going to work today?" Alexis asked carefully between sips of her orange juice. And Avril looked up to hear her mom's answer too.

Kate looked at both of them for a moment then and said "Yea. I'm going today and..."

"And?" Avril urged.

"And I'm going to apply for leave, effective tomorrow"

they smiled. "Did you tell dad?" Avril asked excitedly.

"I didn't get the chance..." she spoke softly. She looked at her watch, she had to get to the precinct in time, and Castle wasn't home yet. She was beginning to worry. She tried calling him, but he wasn't picking up. Finally, he walked in through the door when she was putting her shoes on

"Rick, Where were you, why weren't you answering my calls?" she said to him as soon as he turned to face her after closing the door.

The smile that he had on his face vanished and she immediately regretted that she was still using that tone of voice with him this morning.

He had two huge bags in his hands. "I stopped to get these on my way back, and I couldn't reach for my phone with these in hand"

he walked into the loft and kissed his daughters good morning... he placed the two bags down, and Kate could see the contents inside, they were stuffed toys and baby clothes and things that he loved buying for their little unborn baby girl.

He looked at his watch and his eye's widened. "You're late!" he said.

"Castle, we need to talk" she wanted to tell him about her decision to finally take that leave from work.

"You know what, why don't you go ahead to the precinct, I'll freshen up and meet you there in a bit." He said, completely dancing around her "need to talk" bit.

"Okay" she half whispered.

She opened the front door and stopped in her tracks. She turned back around with the hope that maybe he'd come to kiss her goodbye, but no. He was already walking into his study. Who was she kidding? He was probably still very upset with her behaviour, and she wouldn't blame him.

She took a cab to the precinct and the first thing she did was ask captain gate's for the paperwork she had to fill in for maternity leave. She thought of taking a picture of the header on the form and sending it to her husband. It might actually put a huge smile on his face.

But as she thought of it, she realized she'd feel better if she saw that smile in person. Her phone beeped with a message from Castle just when she filled out the last of the papers.  
"Where are you? At the precinct?" was the text.

And she heard Ryan call out to her and Esposito saying that the suspect to the case they're working was just spotted entering a café at 23rd street. So she quickly texted him the address and told him to meet her there.

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**So what do you guys think? Do you like this story so far? :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

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Chapter 5

Castle stopped by at a café before taking a cab to the address Kate had texted him. He bought coffee for her, De-cafe of course. She was in such a hurry this morning, he knew she must have not gotten a chance to grab a sip of anything.

When he reached the address, he saw her car parked out there in the street, along with Ryan and Espo's vehicle and another cop car. He thought it would be better if he waited outside for them. So he leaned back against her car and waited. 15 minutes later, he saw them walking out of the building.

"What's wrong, did you get him?"

Espo came up to him and said "No no, he disappeared"  
Castle noticed his frustration.

"That's strange, I didn't see anyone leaving the building, and this is the only exit."

Ryan and Kate had now reached them too.  
"Castle, how long have you been standing here?" Ryan asked.

"A good 15-20 minutes"

"And you're sure you didn't see anyone leave the building?"

"I've had my eye on that exit ever since I got here, there's no way I would have missed him"

"guys, have uniforms go through the building once again. He's got to still be in there somewhere" Kate said and she stepped forward, closer to Castle.

The two of them nodded and went about to instruct the other uniforms.

"Castle, thank god you're here. We need to talk"

"Kate, it's alright, you're in the middle of a case, we can talk later."

"No, I don't want to put this off any longer. Rick... I've been acting so irrational, fighting you every time you suggested…"

And that's when something caught Castle's eye. A tiny spark in his periphery vision. Bile rose in his throat as he looked straight at the source, and without thinking he knew what he had to do. And his next move was so swift and everything happened so fast.

Kate saw it, the moment Castle's body went stiff, the moment his eyes widened and panic filled him, and he yelled "Kate!"

And the next thing she knew, she was pushed down to the ground by his hands. She fell on her side and a shock of pain went up her body, originating from her pregnant belly. But that was the least of her worries, because what she saw next was two bullets go through her husband's chest, and he fell back against her car and down to the ground beside her.

"Castle!" she screamed. Her pain taking over her entire body. And even that pain was numbed by the sight of her husband, bleeding out before her.

Immediately, there was chaos around her, Esposito and Ryan were the closest, both on their phones, calling an ambulance, calling cops, she didn't care who, she had dragged herself closer to him, she put her hand on his bleeding wound, the tears from her eyes wouldn't stop falling. He was struggling to keep his eyes open.

"No!" she cried out and then a shrill scream sounded out of her, the pain in her womb getting unbearable.

She held on to his shirt "no… don't..." she was struggling to fight through her own pain. He was looking at her, a tear rolled out of his eye when he blinked and he didn't open his eyes again.

Suddenly there were paramedics around them. Someone was telling her to breathe deeply, to calm down.  
She wanted to punch him. She was in pain, her husband was dying and her baby might be too, why would she be calm!?

They lifted her onto a gurney and she cried out loud. She didn't want to leave his side, but the last thing she saw was them putting him into another ambulance. And his name was the only thing her lips could manage to say... like a prayer that she kept repeating to herself.

All of this, this was a nightmare. 'This can't be real' she tried convincing herself, oh but the blood on her hand told a different story.

She closed her eyes again and screamed. Her baby was in pain. And her Rick was in pain too. And both of them, her lifelines, were now facing death… all because of her, and she knew now, this was not a nightmare she could wake up from.

The paramedics around her were saying something to her, but she couldn't hear. Her ears felt blocked, and suddenly, her vision began to blur too. And she shut her eyes tight. The excruciating pain, becoming more and more unbearable.

And the last thing she saw behind her eye lids before entering a state of unconsciousness was the image of Castle and their little baby girl, pale, and not breathing.

* * *

Everything was dark around her. And that bitter smell of blood filled her nostrils. She began to shiver; it was cold, freezing cold. And that's when she felt it. Rather, didn't feel it. It was emptiness. She felt empty.

Like some part of her was missing. And that's when she moved her hand down to her waist, she couldn't see anything, everything was so dark. But she could feel it. Her stomach. It was flat. Her baby? And even before she could think it, she heard a voice whisper to her

"Murder" it said.

And she shut her eyes tight at the sound of the word

"my baby..." she whispered.

And that voice spoke again. A little louder this time.

"Murderer" it said.

"No…" she cried. A tear rolled down her skin as she tried to fight the voice at her ear, calling her a murderer.

Then there was light somewhere and she squinted her eyes to look at it. It was too bright. And she saw an outline of someone. It was Castle. But she couldn't be sure.

"Murderer" he said. That was his voice. She was sure then, that was him. But he was calling her a …

"Castle… our baby…" she cried out to him.

"You killed her Kate, you killed me too"

"NOOO..." she cried out. "Nooo... please..."

Castle disappeared and now she saw an outline of a crowd before her. Why was everything so bright? She thought.

And then all of their voices resounded in her ears "You're a killer, a murderer" and she cried bitterly.  
What had she done! Her baby, her love. She closed her eyes and tried to hold her breath, she didn't want to live this life, she had killed them. She deserved death too. She deserved pain, the same pain she had put them through.

She held her breath until her lungs ached and tired and she allowed herself to drift into the darkness too.

* * *

**Leave me a review maybe? :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

* * *

Chapter 6

Esposito and Ryan were pacing the hospital corridor. Both Rick and Kate were in the operation theatres. Rick's condition was critical. The doctors had said so when they were taking him in.

Lanie had made it there just a few minutes after them. They had called Martha and she was on a plane back from her retreat.

They rang Alexis up, and told her that they had sent uniforms to come pick Avril and her up from the loft.

"Lanie!"

Lanie suddenly looked up at the sound of Alexis's voice. The girl was red in the face, already having cried the entire way here, and beside her, was young Avril, looking just as scared as her elder step-sister.

"Oh, girls, come here" she stood up and they ran to her.

Avril burst out crying in her arms, Alexis tried to keep her calm, but she too was on the edge of a break down.

"What happened? How..?"

"Sit down, both of you" they did as she said, and Avril wiped the tears off her face, needing to hear exactly what was wrong.

"Your mom and the boys had gone to chase down a suspect. They knew he was in that building. But when they couldn't find him, they fell back. But your dad was sure he was inside, so the rest of them went back in, while your mom and dad were talking outside near her car…"

"Oh my God..." Avril began crying again.

Lanie took her hand in hers and squeezed it and said,

"He shot from the first floor... He had his gun aimed at Kate. And well, your dad saw him just before he shot and..."

"He took the bullet..." Alexis completed. Knowing all too well that her dad would have done just that.

"Yes... two bullets. One to his chest, the other to his stomach"

The girl's held each other and cried.

"He pushed your mom out of the way, and Kate fell down to the side. She landed on her side, and well, there was bleeding. That means something went wrong with the baby..."

"Oh gosh! Mom!" Avril exclaimed in complete fear for her mother.

"Now you two have got to be brave okay. They're both undergoing operation right now and the doctors have only said that your dad's critical."

They nodded their heads.

"We're here for you two... don't worry."

She hugged them tight again. She couldn't help but feel for them, there was no way she'd ever know the fear they had in them right now. Two young girls. And they could lose everything at once if these operations didn't go well.

"we're all here for you"

* * *

Half an hour later, and many silent prayers later, a doctor came out of Kate's OT and spoke to them

"we had to prematurely deliver the baby. She had been suffocating after the fall and that was causing trauma to both her and the mother."

"Are they okay now?"

"Both mother and daughter are breathing normally now. The mother is unconscious and the baby is in an incubator. But we can't let any of you see them for another few hours; until we're sure they're both okay and we can move them to another room."

Lanie breathed a sigh of relief. They were okay.

"what did he say?" Avril asked.

"Your mom's doing fine. She's going to be okay." Lanie assured.

"And the baby?"

"They delivered the baby."

"What? They can do that?"

"She's a 6 month- old pre-mature baby and she'll need a lot of extra care over the next three months. They've kept her in an incubator for now"

"Oh thank god" Avril exclaimed.

Lanie smiled. "I need to warn you both though, it's not going to be easy to see your baby sister with those tube's around her."

"As long as she's alive and breathing, I'm grateful"

Lanie hugged Avril, and she looked to find Alexis walking back to her seat. She knew at once what the girl was thinking. She took Avril by the hand and they went to sit beside Alexis.

"Your dad's a strong man, he's not going to leave you four alone"

Esposito chimed in then "Yea, Castle's been so excited for this little one. I can't wait to see his face when we tell him she's arrived three month's early" he tried to lighten the mood.

But Alexis snapped "Stop it; stop trying to make me feel better about this. None of this is helping. My dad's dying and we can do nothing about it, and I just… I just…" She burst out crying.

"What if he never gets to see his baby girl at all, what if he never gets to see any of us. What if he never gets to see me again?"

Just then they heard the one voice they knew was the only one to be able to comfort the crying teen.

"Alexis…"

"She looked up "Grams…" she quickly got up and hugged her. And she cried her heart out.

"It's alright sweetheart, he'll be okay…" and Martha nodded to Lanie and Avril, telling them not to worry, she got this.

* * *

Almost an hour later,  
the doctors came out from Castle's OT.

Alexis and Lanie rushed to him when he walked out.

"Is he alright? Oh doctor please tell me you could do something…" Alexis pleaded.

"Calm down young lady. Is he your father?"

"Yes"

"He fought well, he's going to make it"

the smile that broke out onto the girl's face was heavenly, without thinking she hugged the doctor and she whispered "Oh thank you, thank you so much."

The doctor laughed.

She was a little embarrassed when she pulled away, but he smiled warmly. He understood.

"We had a few complications, but we managed to get both the bullets out and he's stable now. He's in an induced coma. That means he'll be unconscious for the next few days. And we'll have to keep a close watch on him at all times.

We'll move him into another room soon and then you can go see him."

Avril walked up to Alexis and hugged her tight.

"They made it. They all did" and tears of happiness rolled down their cheeks. It was unbelievable.

* * *

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	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

* * *

Chapter 7

"Kate?"

That voice. That sweet voice. She'd never forget it.

"Katie, wake up baby"

Mom.

"Mom? Is that you" she asked.

She opened her eyes and that sea of darkness threatened to eat her whole. She wanted to close her eyes again.

"Yes honey, it's me"

"Am I in heaven?"

"No silly"

"what? Then where am I?"

"That doesn't matter"

"I should be in hell."

"the only place you should be, is at home. With your husband and children"

"mom, I made a huge mistake"

"wake up baby"

"mom… I can't... I don't want to…"

and even before she could protest, she felt like she was being pulled out of the darkness, something loud was screeching in her ear, and suddenly, opening her eye's seemed really difficult. But she tried nevertheless.

It was blurry at first, but then it turned clear. And then she took a deep breath. The room she was in was sterile. But there was no smell of blood now. But what was that scent, that very homely scent. With a little effort, she turned a bit to look beside her and she saw Alexis there fast asleep in a chair.

She tried to move her hand towards her a bit... and she lightly touched her daughter's hand.  
Alexis woke up with a start

"Mom?"

Suddenly Kate began to pull at the tube attached to her wrist.

"Mom, what are you doing?"

Alexis began calling out to a nurse.

"Don't…" Kate struggled to speak.

"Mom stop! What are you doing! you'll hurt yourself!" a nurse rushed in and tried to put the tube back in its place.

"Mrs. Castle, you have to relax."

A tear rolled down her cheek and Alexis wiped at it. "Mom, you're okay... you're gonna be alright."

The nurse then helped her sit up and gave her a glass of water to sip from, to clear her dry throat. She felt weak. And empty.  
Empty.

Her hand automatically went to her tummy. Her flat abdomen. And she closed her eyes as more tears began to fall.

She felt Alexis' hand on hers.

"Mom, open your eyes,"

she sounded so worried.

"what's wrong…?"

"I killed her"

"what!? No! Mom!"

She finally opened her eyes and looked at the teen.

"Mom, she's right there." Alexis pointed out to the baby incubator at the other end of the room.

Kate looked over to where Alexis pointed out, and utter confusion took over her. Just then Avril entered the room.

"MOM! You're awake" she ran to her mom's side and kissed her cheek.

Kate still couldn't process anything. Her head ached and she was getting dizzy.

"What? My baby…?"

"she's alright... they had to deliver her prematurely. Oh my god, mom, she's so tiny and so beautiful… you have to see her"

Avril blabbered. But Kate stared endlessly at the incubator. She couldn't see inside from where she was. She couldn't believe her ears either.

Her baby was alive. Her little girl was breathing. She may have been taken out of her womb a little early, but at least now she was safe.

And Kate closed her eyes and an after-thought haunted her conscious mind. At least now she was safe, the little one wasn't in this monstrous body any longer.  
A body that couldn't keep her safe, that put her life at danger and almost killed her.

She had almost killed her own baby.

"Mom, why are you still crying?" Avril asked. And Alexis took her mother's hand in hers.

She shook her head and said "I can't... I'm a horrible mother Avril."

Both Alexis and Avril looked at her in confusion.

"No mom! Why are you saying that?"

Then a sudden thought took over her mind and she said "Rick! Where is he?!"

and panic filled her again. And the images of her husband, as life drained out of him on that road, began to cloud her mind.  
She was getting hysterical.

"Mom, calm down, Dad's in the ICU. He's going to be okay. They saved him. Calm down, please..."

And the dizziness over took her as she fell asleep again.

* * *

They were finally allowed to go see their father.

Alexis kissed him on the forehead.

"Wake up soon dad. We miss you" she ran a hand through his hair and said.  
"Mom needs you. She's finding it really hard doing this alone. And I'm sure you need her too..."  
"She thought she killed her baby, she was so scared. You saved her dad, now you need to wake up and see the lives you've saved..."

she paused for a while then. Just sitting and staring at his face. She lightly traced his cheek then and said "I wasn't surprised you took that bullet for her. You would have done it for me or Avril too, I'm sure. Just, next time, when you're pushing someone out of the way of a bullet, fall with them please."

She paused again and looked around, at the monitors and the wires and tubes, and the entire room. And then she smiled and said

"she's beautiful you know, she's got just the right mix of both your looks. And she's so tiny and fragile right now. I mean even after three months, I'd be afraid to hold her. She sleeps all day, but she's the prettiest little angel there is. Wake up soon dad. She wants to see you. We all do"

* * *

**Did you like this chapter? :) leave me a review :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

* * *

Chapter 8

Kate awoke again. But this time, her eyes landed directly on the incubator at the other end of the room.

Lanie and Ryan were by her side.

"Do you want to see her?" Lanie asked with a smile.

Kate turned to look at both of them.

"No, where's Rick... I need to see him..."

she tried to sit up.

"No Kate, don't get up. You need to rest. You're body's been through a lot!"

"You don't understand, Lanie…"

"I understand."

Tears came to her eyes again  
"No you don't... he took those bullets for me. And for this little girl. And now he's fighting for his life. All because of my foolishness"

Lanie gently put her arms around her and shushed her.

"He's already fought Kate. And he won. He's healing"

"I need to see him Lanie! Please"

"Okay. I'll see if the nurses can arrange something okay… why don't you just relax for now."

Ryan walked out soon after to talk to the doctors.

* * *

Kate watched as now and then, nurses would enter the room, check on her, and then walk over to the incubator to check on the baby. They'd all ask her if she was ready to see her baby, but she'd refuse. And they'd give her a look. Because they couldn't understand why a mother would not want to see her baby.

She'd hear a soft cry now and then and her heart would ache for her baby. Once or twice she had even asked the nurse

"is she in pain? Please be honest with me."

and the nurse would tell her the truth  
"a little bit. But she's doing well. Everything's moving in the right direction."

She'd shut her eyes tight and try to stop the voices in her head that kept blaming herself. 'Your baby's in pain. Because of you. That tiny little human, your baby, is suffering because of you, and she would have suffered more, had it not been for your husband'

she was pressing her temples and the nurse then hesitantly asked her 'we're all curious.. Why won't you see her… don't you want to?"

And she looked up and said 'You won't understand. I could hurt her again'

"why do you feel so? You're her mother"

"I couldn't be a good mother while she was in me. I doubt I can be a good mother now."

Martha Rogers was standing at the doorway and she heard it all. When the nurse left she sat down beside Kate and took her hand and said

"You're punishing yourself."

"I deserve it Martha"

"you don't deserve this pain that you're putting yourself through"

"I put her through so much pain. I'm a monster."

"She holds nothing against you"

"She should be hating me."

"She's your baby. She wants her mother."

Kate didn't say anything.

"Katherine, That little girl will always want her mother. No matter what. Even now, I know for a fact, she's waiting to see you."

"You don't get it, none of you do"

"You're beating yourself up"

"I made mistakes Martha."

"We all do Katherine. We all do. Hell! I made so many mistakes while raising Rick. But look where he's come. He's saving lives. Although I wish he had a better method" she meant to lighten the atmosphere. But it didn't work.

"I'm sorry"

"Now now sweetheart… You made mistakes, and you faced the consequences. And you've survived. Now stop depriving your baby of the mother's love she needs and go see her"

"I'm not ready Martha. Please."

"When will you be ready?"

Kate paused for a while and then said

"I need to see Rick…"

and Martha nodded. She understood. She hugged her and said "He'll need you to take care of both, him and your baby when he wakes up, you're going to have to be ready then honey"

"I know" but she didn't know how.

* * *

A few hours later, they were helping Kate into a wheel chair. They were taking her to her husband. And while exiting the room, she caught a glimpse of her little baby. And tears welled up in her eyes, when she realized the number of tubes attached to the little girl. It hindered a proper view of the tiny babe.

As they rolled her through the corridor towards the ICU, Kate didn't know what to expect. She was afraid of what she might see.

Right enough, when the door opened and her eye's fell on her sleeping husband, she gasped in pain. Her hand went to her mouth, to muffle her sobs. It pained her so much to see the damage she had caused. He was fixed up alright, but she knew something was broken between them. He must hate her for this.

He must hate her, for putting him into this life or death situation. For making him chose between her life and his unborn child's or his life. And his decision was selfless.

The young nurse who halted her wheelchair just next to Rick's sleeping form asked her "will you be alright here Mrs Castle?"

"Yes, thank you" she said to her softly and the young girl left her alone with her husband.

Kate spent every moment she could by his side. The doctors insisted that she needed rest and so, from time to time she would be taken back to her room for a few hours of sleep. But the rest of the time she spent by his side. Holding his hand and whispering words of apology into his ear. She told him, how she had no courage to go near her own baby and how scared she was for her angel's life.

She told him how much she needed him to wake up and hold their baby girl because she needed a parent's love soon. Avril and Alexis would sit in with her too sometimes and they'd all talk. They felt it would make Rick feel a little more at home even if he was in an unconscious state.

* * *

It was an hour past midnight. Avril, Alexis and Martha had gone home for the night. Lanie was asleep in Kate's room. Ryan had gone home to check on jenny. And Espo was wide awake staring at Castle.

And he saw movement. He saw a small twitch of his finger and he sat up straighter. Wondering if it was just his sleepy mind playing games with him.

But then he saw another twitch.

"Castle, bro..."

And he heard a soft pained groan from him.

A huge smile donned Espo's face.

"It's me, Espo. You're in the hospital."

"Ka..."

"Just relax, let me call the nurse and let them know you're awake okay..."

Espo got up to get a nurse and Castle fell back asleep.

Two hours later he woke again. This time, he opened his eyes a bit. They felt so heavy. And he saw Espo and Lanie by his side

"Hey Castle" Lanie said with a soft smile.

"Hey" he softly spoke. He couldn't find any energy in him to speak.

"Lanie, where's..."

A nurse came in them and helped him sip on some cold water. And that made him feel a little better. But still, he found it was taking a lot of effort to get a few coherent words out of his mouth.

"Guys, Kate..."

"You saved her life Castle" she told him.

And that really was all he needed to know. He blinked, the darkness began to take over again, and he saw a worried look on Lanie's face before he gave in to it.

* * *

**That's all for today. :) leave me a review :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: guys, thank you so much for all the alerts and reviews you've been leaving me :) really appreciate it :***

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle

* * *

Chapter 9

"He really woke up?" Alexis' overjoyed voice woke Avril from her sleep and she saw her elder sister entering her room, talking on the phone, signalling her to wake up. She sat up and looked at her through squinted eyes. She mouthed the words "Dad woke up"

and Avril was on her feet and beside her sister in a jiffy, listening in on the conversation.

"Yea, we'll be right there"

she hit 'end call' and then looked at her younger sister.

"He woke up twice last night, and he'll probably be in a more conscious state today"

Avril hugged her tight.

"I can't wait till we can bring all three of them home"  
"I know" Alexis whispered with joy.

* * *

At the hospital,

Kate was being wheeled towards his room. He was awake they told her, as soon as she woke up. And she insisted that she be taken to his room. She needed to see him. And the minute she came in the doorway to his room, the crowd around his bed parted.

And there he was, awake and looking on at her. And a small smile donned his face. Contagious that it was, it reached her lips too, but along with it came tears. These little drops have been her best friends these past few days.

She saw his lips move and he whispered her name "Kate"

he was weak, he sounded weak, and he looked a little broken, but not in spirit. Because the love in his eyes was still there. Avril rushed out to bring her mom in. and the closer Kate got, the harder it became for her to speak.

"I think we should leave you two alone for a moment" said Martha, and all of them left the room soon after.

Kate reached out to touch him to caress his face. And the slight stubble that had grown on his jaw, poked her skin a little, but nothing would stop her from touching this man. This sweet man who saved her life by risking his own.

He slowly lifted his own hand to hold hers and he brought her wrist closer to his lips where he placed a soft chaste kiss against her skin. His eyes were closed.

"Rick..." she spoke on a sob.

"You're alive" he said to convince himself.

"Because of you…"

he kissed her hand again, atop her knuckles this time.  
And she pulled her hand back, confusion almost over took him, but he realized she was getting up from her chair

"Kate, be careful"

"I'm alright. I just don't think I can be so far from you any longer"

She slowly laid down beside him, snuggling into his side, being very careful not to upset any of his newly stitched wounds or make him feel uncomfortable.

He let his one arm wrap around her to pull her closer. And before she knew it, her tears were staining his hospital gown.

"Shhh" he said. "Why are you crying?"

"Why did you save me?"

"Why are you asking me that?"

"I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I owe my life to you Rick for what you did. But after everything I put you through that day, i never listened to your care's for our baby, I was so stubborn. Those bullets were for me, not for you. I deserved them"

"I couldn't imagine what I would have gone through, if I lost you and our baby" she felt his arm softly squeeze her upper arm.

"I figured you falling to the ground, would cause less damage to either of you, than if you took a bullet. I had no time to avoid the bullet myself though"

"Oh Rick…I'm so sorry" and she kissed the skin of his neck that was so close to her lips, he felt the warm tears roll down onto his skin.

"Kate, please don't cry. I'm alright"

he kissed her head softly, whispering re-assurances into her hair, that everything was okay now.

After a few minutes he asked with a huge smile on his face  
"Tell me what she's like Kate"

she looked at the tiny designs on his hospital gown and traced them with her finger. She knew what he was asking. She just wasn't sure how he'd react to her answer.

"I mean, they were all telling me about how cute she is, and how tiny she is and how she's got tiny blue eyes that resemble mine, and a little nose just like yours.."

"Rick..."

"Tell me Kate… cause I know, through a mother's eyes, you see her differently. You see her as something made from our love. I want to hear you describe her."

He sounded so joyful, it broke her heart. How was she supposed to tell him that she, the mother of his child, was so scared, too coward to go close to her own baby, that she felt more like a monster than a mother?

"Rick…"

"Hmmm" he waited excitedly. She could feel his excitement to hear what she had to say, she could feel it in the soft heart beat against her palm, she could feel it in his breath, softly washing against her forehead.

"Don't hate me" she whispered

"why would I hate you?"

She didn't answer. And he knew something was wrong

"Kate? What aren't you telling me?"

"Rick, I can't see her"

"What, why won't they let you see her, everyone else has. You don't have any illness that she can catch. Let me talk to the doctors"

"No Rick, it's not that"

"then what is it?"

She took a deep breath and finally spoke her heart out.

"I haven't been a good mother to her. I put her life on the line. I almost killed her. I can't find it in me to face her. I feel like I don't deserve her, like I've betrayed her. She was entrusted into my care and I let her down. My body proved so dangerous for her, she had to be taken out 3 months earlier…"

She was trembling, talking between sobs.  
"I don't deserve her… she's probably the most perfect looking child, but I can't find it in me to go close to her, I don't deserve to be a mother, I'm not fit to be a mother." The last words becoming more of a struggle to leave her lips.

Castle was silent for a moment. And then he spoke "So you don't want her?"

It took a second for his word's to register in her brain and when they did, she gasped and looked up at him  
"What?"

He looked at her with the most serious look she had ever seen.

"What? No! Rick! No!"

She sat up a bit, twisting a bit, to still be able to face him.

"No, no never. Rick she's my baby... our baby. Why would you think that?"

The look of panic in her eyes told him everything.

* * *

**read on :)  
or leave me a review for this chapter first, and then read on ;)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

* * *

Chapter 10

"Come here" he said and she leaned back into his side

he kissed her head and said,  
"You love her. I can see it in your eyes when I just gave you the slightest hint that she'll be taken away"

"that's not enough"

"oh but your wrong. And don't fight me on this…"

she listened carefully.

"everything you need, to take care of our little girl will be born out of this love you have for her"

"you have more faith in me than I do"

"It's cause I know you better than you know yourself. I know what Avril means to you, I can see the way you look at Alexis with so much of love, even though she was not your daughter biologically.

What makes you think just cause of this incident, that you will not be a good mother to this little one?"

Kate finally saw it. And all this time, this was just what she needed. This assurance from her husband. And suddenly now, she had a hunger in her. A hunger to see her baby girl., the little life she'd been housing inside her for 6 months, the tiny human being that was a part of her, the angel who had taken over her life and filled her thoughts at every moment of the day and night.

That little blessing was sleeping a few doors down, thirsting for a mother's touch, for the kiss of her mother's lips, to reconnect with her mother once again, after coming out into this world. And she suddenly felt bad that she had denied her baby girl this love for all this while.

"You and I, we're both healing right now."

"What if I can't cure myself"

"it's not your job to cure yourself"

she looked at him, waiting to hear more.

"It's my job to heal you," he pointed at her heart, "and your job to heal me" he pointed at his own heart.

"And soon enough, we'll both be as good as new. our love will nurture her" he pointed in the direction of the room in which their baby girl was fast asleep.

She smiled. "You have such a way with words."

"You married a writer for a reason" he winked.

They shared a comfortable silence then and Kate couldn't stop thinking about her baby girl.

Castle read her mind.

"This evening, I'll ask them to bring her in here. And you and me, and Avril and Alexis, we're going to hold our new born baby for the first time."

Kate nodded against his side.

"And I promise you Kate, You're going to be the best mother there is, I'm all too sure of it."

A pause and then "You already are" he said with a chuckle.

And she looked up with a smile to admire his smiling face, and she realized he was looking toward the door of his room. And out there, stood both their teenage daughters, smiling giddily, holding a big bunch of balloons, a bouquet, and a heart shaped box of chocolates.

"What are they doing?"

"I'll tell them to postpone the party for the evening"

Kate laughed.

"For now, I just want you to lay with me longer"

"that's fine by me" she said with a wink and laid her head back down against his shoulders.

* * *

It was late evening now.

Kate had refused to leave his side the entire day. And he had no intention of letting her go either.

They were now sitting up. Kate had helped put enough of cushions behind rick's back to see that he's in no pin whatsoever. And he stretched his arm around her, needing her close at all times. Being awake with her near was keeping him sane. He feared going back to sleep.

Avril was seated cross legged at the end of the bed near their feet, munching away from the box of chocolates she and Alexis had brought in. and Alexis was seated beside the bed, close enough to them, holding her Dad's hand.

"They're just getting a few tubes taken off to bring her in here. She'll be in here any moment now." Alexis told them.

Kate unknowingly took a really deep breath and Castle could feel her nervousness. He kissed her cheek softly and said "you're beautiful"

she smiled and kissed his lips softly. "You're an amazing man, Richard Castle."

"Someone's here to see you" came a young nurse's voice from the door, and all their heads turn to look at the young lady holding a bundle of pink.

"She's here" Avril squealed in joy and clapped excitedly.

As the nurse moved closer. Kate found herself getting a little more eager to hold her baby. Her baby, who up until now had only ever been held by strange arms, none of those people had been as familiar to the little girl as her mother would be.

Kate found that she had her arms outstretched by the time the nurse had reached her side, and slowly she laid the little girl in her mother's arms.

Kate lost her breath, and she was sure she skipped a heartbeat too. For, the little girl wrapped in that little pink blanket was no ordinary baby. She was perfect, she was beautiful, she was angelic and she was Hers.

Castle watched as something in Kate changed at that very moment. Cause at that very moment he knew, Kate had taken on that role of a mother again. The role she took on so well when she had Avril, and the role she practiced too much with their two teenage daughters.

He watched, because right now, Kate couldn't take her eyes off their baby. Her eye's brimmed with tears of Joy and awe as she looked on at their bundle of joy in her arms.

Kate felt something shift in her the very second that her baby was laid in her arms. Cause now, she was looking at her own creation. She was looking at something beautiful created because of her love for her husband and his love for her.

The little girl was awake, but quiet as can be. Kate leaned closer and very gently, softly touched her lips to her tiny forehead.

Kate could feel every little soft breath she took. She could feel the rise and fall of her against her hands as her tiny lungs filled with air and emptied out every few seconds. She concentrated on that. That was what would keep her going.

She kissed her cheek then, those soft little cheeks that felt like cotton to her lips. She kissed her chest, feeling the thrum of her heartbeat against her lips, and a tear fell from her eye. Kate was grateful for that sound, for that movement of the tiny red muscle in her.

She felt a tiny little hand touch her cheek and Kate kissed it too. She then closed her eyes and cuddled her little baby closer.

* * *

The three other people in the room couldn't help but get a little sentimental themselves at the sight of this exchange between mother and daughter.

"She's so quiet" Alexis softly exclaimed

"this is unbelievable" Avril said with a sparkle in her eyes

"What's unbelievable?" Rick asked them, not willing to take his eyes off Kate and their baby girl.

"Dad, up until now, she's never been this quiet in the arms of anyone for this long. She'd usually start crying within a few seconds of us holding her"

Castle chuckled.

"That's the difference here. She knows Kate's touch, more than she knows any of yours"

* * *

Kate however couldn't care less about the conversation going on around her. She was too engrossed with the perfection in her arms. She was rocking her softly and whispering to her ears, and having her own little conversation with her baby.

She didn't care how many minutes had passed by that she was ignoring the world around her. Cause her attention now, was all for her child, her baby girl.

"I love you… I love you…" she repeated like a prayer into the tiny ears of her girl.

Her fingers played in the tiny silky strands of hair that had grown on her head. And her other arm held her close to her.

Kate felt one with her again, as if she was never taken out of her, as if she was still part of her. That familiar feeling of having her closest to only her.

She knew she owed something to this little girl and she was going to give it now. She brought her lips close to the girl's ear and whispered

"Mommy's sorry..." and she found it difficult to go on as her sobs threatened to re-surface. There was a storm of tears inside her that fought to overflow.

"Mommy's sorry baby, for not being able to take care of you. Mommy's sorry for almost killing you, for denying you this caress and love even after you survived your mommy's ignorance"

Kate felt Castle's arm wrap tighter around her.  
He knew what she was doing. And his touch, in some way, gave her strength.

"I promise you baby, I'll never do that again, I'll never put anything before your needs. I'll never stay away from you when you need me the most. I'm always going to be here for you"

Avril and Alexis had no clue what the new mother was whispering to their little sister, but from the sight before them, from the tears that were rolling down her cheeks, they knew what this was about.

The little baby started on at her mother, blinking now and then and her tiny hand reached up to her chin and then let go, and that was enough to tell Kate that this baby was finally glad to be re-connected with her mother. To be close to home.

* * *

She fell asleep in her mother's hold, and Kate kissed her some more. After knowing for sure that she was in deep sleep Kate finally looked up at her family. And they were smiling at her, with eyes of pride and love.

"You did it mom" Avril said

Kate nodded. She had been rendered speechless by this moment with her baby. She was finally reunited with a part of her, that had been temporarily taken away from her.

"I did" she said softly. And then she turned her head a bit to look at her husband and his proud smile, and she couldn't resist.

She leaned in close and clashed her lips against his, and they kissed. Their lips brushed beautifully against the other. The power he had over the kiss, left goosebumbs on her skin and told her just how much He loved her and the family they had built together.

And when they parted he whispered to her "I have a perfect wife, and three beautiful daughters. I can die now, and have no regrets"

"You're not going anywhere. And that's an order."

"I like it when you boss me around"

she kissed him again, more fervently. And Avril smiled at Alexis.

"Can I hold her now?" he asked when they pulled apart again.

And even before Kate could answer, Avril spoke in a panicked tone

"No wait dad, your stitches will hurt"

Kate hesitated. Then he said,

"I'll be alright. Don't worry"

she slowly laid their little pink bundle of joy in his arms, and he held her close to him. He was glued. His eyes transfixed on her. His little baby girl.

"Reminds me of the day you were born" he said as he looked on at Alexis with happiness gleaming in his eyes. He kissed his baby angel, and Kate kissed her too.

She then asked him "Do the stitches hurt?"

"And without taking his eyes off of his girl he said "more than anything"

and the three women in the room all panicked.  
"Castle!" Kate exclaimed

"dad, give her back to mom. Please…" they said to him.

"Don't worry. It's all worth it. The happiness overpowers the pain" he said to them. "it's almost like it heals"

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**AN: What do you think of this story? :) Please leave me a review guys. :) **


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Hi guys, I'm sorry I took this long to update. I got a new job and it's been keeping me busy. well, I managed to get a few more chapters done, so I hope you enjoy. Would love to hear from you guys. :) So don't forget to leave me a review.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

* * *

Chapter 11

The nurses had informed Kate that for a few more weeks, her little girl would have to be fed intravenously. i.e. through her veins because she was still too young to be able to consume milk from her mother's breast. For a baby this young, it is difficult for her to co ordinate sucking, breathing and swallowing all at the same time.

And the doctors also suggested that she be kept in the incubator for most of the time that she was sleeping. The incubator had a temperature adjusted for the baby's needs so that her body doesn't burn calories in keeping warm, saving her energy to help her stay strong.

Within two more weeks, the doctors had said she was progressing beautifully, and she didn't have to be kept in the incubator any longer.

* * *

It was now 3 weeks since the incident, and all three of them had been doing great.  
Castle had arranged for Kate's bed to be brought into the same room as his. He didn't want them to be so far apart.

She had started breast feeding their baby girl too, and everything seemed to be getting better day by day.

"How's my little Kaylee doing today?" Lanie asked when she entered the room, and Kate and Rick both looked up from playing with their baby at her with huge smiles.

"Lanie, hey!"

She came and sat with them and took little baby Kaylee in her arms.

"Oh she's so pretty, I can't get over her"

"At least you're not threatening to eat her up" Rick joked. "There's one nurse here who's a little too fond of her"

Lanie and Kate both laughed.

"So, where are the girls?"

"They're gone off to buy some stuff, we're going home tomorrow" Kate said with a gleam in her eyes.

Lanie's eyes widened "really?" she said excitedly "That's great!"

She then spoke only to Kaylee and said "You're finally going to see your home baby... aren't you excited?"

And Kaylee made a tiny sound. They laughed at her innocence. She was so oblivious to the way she affected everyone around her. She had no clue about her humongous family, including an M.E. and two detectives who worked with her mother. Little Kaylee was still new to everything. But she seemed to be learning fast.

She would only sleep in the arms of her mother. Not even Castle had managed to ever put her to sleep. She was partial to her elder sisters at times. Sometimes she would sit silently with Alexis, but sometimes she'd wail and cry until Avril or someone else carried her. Kaylee was growing well; they could already see major differences in her now compared to what she looked like when they first saw her. Her weight had increased too and the doctors said everything was looking up.

And as Kate though about the idea of finally going home with her family tomorrow, she couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort and joy. Everything was going to be okay.

* * *

_4 months later._

It was almost dinner time, and Rick was still at the doctors. She wondered if everything was okay. The girls were in the living room. Alexis was reading a novel, while Avril was sprawled on the couch reading a book. She thought about their conversation earlier that day.

_She was standing before her vanity mirror, wearing only her bra and underwear; she had just gotten out of the shower and needed to take a look at something. As she stood there, studying the scars that the stitches had left behind on her body, she felt disgusted by them. Although they reminded her of the miracle named Kaylee that it brought into their lives, she still hated herself every time she saw those scars. Those scars wouldn't have been there if she'd been more careful, if she'd taken care. Cause then she would have given birth naturally to their little baby girl._

She wondered then, as she touched the scars, if she would have another chance to give birth… naturally…

_Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt Castle's arm come around her and his chin rest upon her shoulder._

_He must have just woken up, how had she not seen him get off the bed and come to her. She smiled at him and he kissed her cheek softly_

_"__What are you doing?"_

_"__These scars..." she paused "will they ever disappear?"_

_She asked softly, and he looked at her scars in the mirror, his hands reached out to softly move his fingers over them. _

_"__Why are they worrying you?"_

_"__They're reminding me of things I don't want to be reminded of" she admitted._

_He turned her around in his arms so that she was facing him, and he said "those scars should only remind you of Kaylee. Nothing else. Cause all of that is in the past now Kate. The only part of it that moves with us is Kaylee. She's our future"_

_She smiled at him. He always knew what to say to make her feel better._

_"__Don't let those scars make you see yourself as anything less than extraordinary. They're a part of you because Kaylee is a part of you."_

_She kissed him and whispered a soft 'thank you' at his lips. His arms wrapped tight around her and pulled her in for a hotter, more passionate kiss. And Kate really didn't mind. It was exactly what she needed._

But when Ricks hand began to move lower down her back, and he began to pull her tighter against him, she knew she had to stop him, and that was the hardest part.

_One of his hands had reached up over her breast, and she had to slowly push it away. She broke the kiss, as hypnotising as it was, and put her forehead to his, they were both breathing hard from the effect of a strong expression of love, but she spoke nevertheless.  
She didn't want to see the look of disappointment in his eyes again this time, so she kept her eyes closed when she spoke._

_"__Rick, stop"_

"come on Kate, it's been so long."

"no… we can't. Nott until we're sure you can take it"

"I feel alright Kate really…"

"I won't take the risk" she opened her eyes then and looked into his blue eyes, they were really disappointed.

_She kissed the corner of his mouth and said "If we went ahead and if you were to have any kind of pain, I'd hate myself for it. I already hate myself enough because I'm the reason you have a bullet wound and stitches on your torso to heal from."_

_"__No Kate..please don't.." she kissed him to shut him up and then said._

_"__when the doctor gives you the all clear, I promise you, I will do anything you want me to do"_

_He nodded now. "I have an appointment with him today. But I don't think I'll get an all clear from him so soon" he sounded a little hopeful, but mostly not._

"I'm sorry honey… but until then, this will have to suffice" and she leaned in again and kissed him with all of her love. And he kissed her back with equal fervour.

Kate was brought out of her her little flashback when she heard the door open. She quickly served the last plate of food and placed it on the dining table, wiped her hands on a napkin and went to find her husband.

"I got great news" he said excitedly.

Avril switched the TV off and sat up, Alexis kept her book down too. Castle walked over to the other side of the room, so that he could face all three of them when he spoke.

"what is it?" Kate asked. She couldn't understand what the doctor could have possibly said that had him so excited.

"you look really hyped Dad, did he give you some weird drug" Avril joked and Alexis laughed.

"Nope! I'm not drugged"

"then what is it? Come on tell us already" Alexis said, getting impatient.

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**Leave me a review please. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Notice the change in rating. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

* * *

Chapter 12

He looked at Kate, and spoke aloud to all of them

" I got the all clear!"

" what?" Alexis squealed! He looked at his two daughters and said

" he said I've healed perfectly. I'm fit and fine and allowed to lead a normal life again! I can get back to all physical activity"

" all physical activity?" Kate asked with a sparkle in her eyes.

And he replied with a naughty smirk "that's exactly what he said"

They held eachother's gaze for a moment, forgetting the presence of their teenage daughters in the room. His eyes began to wander down his wife's body and she bit down on her lip already dreaming up fantasies of them getting it on tonight.

"Ewww! Both of you stop it!" Avril squealed and brought her hands up to cover her eyes. Kate laughed and Rick admired it. He then plopped himself in the little space between his daughters and put both his arms around them. "I want to do something tomorrow"

"Like what?" Alexis asked excitedly.

"Let's go bungee jumping"

"Oh no you don't!" Kate interjected, she sat before them on the edge of the coffee table and said  
"Don't you go over doing your freedom"

"Bungee jumping is not 'overdoing'. What I'm going to do with you tonight... now that will be…"

"Lalalalalalalala..." Avril started singing out loud and holding her ears closed.

"Oh my god! Did no one teach you to how to behave among kids?" Alexis spoke out loud.

Kate couldn't help her laughter at the girls' reactions.

"Hey, don't blame me... I've been denied..."

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence!" Kate warned him with a glare.

"Everything's so extreme between you two" Avril exclaimed.

"It's always been that way." He had eyes only for the woman before him, even though he was talking to his daughters.

"And I wouldn't want it any different" she replied.

Kate wanted to grab his face and kiss him senseless. But she knew that would make the kids uncomfortable. So she held back, knowing too well, he was reading her. He knew what she wanted.

And they both knew, it would'nt be long until they would finally be all to themselves.

"Come on, dinner is served. I'll go get Kaylee, she's slept long enough. For now." She got off the coffee table and walked to the kitchen, and the girls followed behind her.

Extreme was an understatement to describe everything they've been through recently. But they're alive and doing great, and they had three beautiful daughters. Everything they've been through, had all been worth it. Life was beautiful and their love was only growing stronger.

After dinner, they all sat around in the living room, to watch a movie. Kate took Kaylee in her arms and snuggled with her on the couch, and rick sat by her side, holding her close to him. Avril and Alexis sat below the couch, making themselves comfortable with a few pillows around them.

It was a chick flick, and really, Rick had no interest in watching. However, there was something else that seemed to have his attention. And she always did. He was staring at Kate, staring at the way she kept placing soft kisses in their baby's hair, the way she was whispering sweet nothings in her tiny ears, how she would close her eyes and just take a deep inhale of that beautiful scent of her baby. And then coo at her and kiss her soft fingers.

Kate could never get enough of her, and rick could never get enough of watching them. Watching Kate with Kaylee was the most adorable thing ever. It was a mother-daughter bond you'd find nowhere else. Clearly, Kate was not paying attention to the movie either. She suddenly turned to look at him and found his staring at her.

She raised an eyebrow "What?" she mouthed to him.

He shook his head to say "Nothing"

She smiled at him, and leaned up a little to kiss him softly and then whispered "just a little while more, and you can do more than staring"

"I can't wait" he admitted and kissed her again. The credits started to roll in, and the girls got up, said their goodnights and went to bed. Kate wanted to spend a little more time with Kaylee, but the tiny little girl was sleepy again because she had just fed her.  
So she decided she'd better clear up the kitchen a bit before getting to bed.

"Castle, could you put her to sleep? I'll just finish up with the dishes and then come upstairs"

"I got it, don't worry" he assured her and slowly took Kaylee from her arms. He kissed his sleepy little girl and then said

"I'll put her to sleep, and then wait for you in bed." He winked "Don't keep me waiting too long"

She stepped into his space and said up close at his lips. "Trust me; I want this just as bad as you do"

"I won't believe it till I see it" he turned around with a smirk on his face and walked to the nursery they had made especially for her, in a room that was close to their own.

When Kate was done she went to the nursery, wondering if castle was still there. She found the lights turned down, and Kaylee fast asleep in her crib. She lightly brushed her cheek with the back of her finger and whispered "Good night Kaylee, Mommy loves you so much"

Kate walked through the study and opened the door to their room, to find Castle sitting on his side of the bed, shirtless, wearing only his boxer shorts, looking through something in the drawer of his bedside table. He hadn't noticed her presence in the room.

She tiptoed to her side of the bed and slowly, very silently took off her top and her pants. She let her hair lose, and carefully climbed into bed. She was careful to not let the dip in the bed be noticed by him and in a flash, she put her arms around his neck and let her hands wander down his chest, feeling up his upper body to both their delights. Her wandering hands made him smile. And she began softly kissing down the side of his neck.

He hummed his appreciation. "You made me wait quite a while"

"I hope you didn't think of starting without me"

"I'd never" he said with a confident smile. She let his back press into her body, and he could feel the roughness of the lace on her. He recognized that lace like the back of his hand. He knew all of her lingerie by heart. Most of it, he had bought for her.

She nibbled on his ear and kissed skin passionately; making him feel things he'd been waiting to feel for so long. And then as if he'd read her mind, she got rid of her bra. He smiled. Her warm skin on his back, her delicious lips on his skin, her soft palms grazing his body, he lost all control in a second.

Kate didn't know how and when, but she suddenly found herself, pinned down to the bed, and her husband on top of her, staring into her eyes, his eyes had darkened and hell, it did things to her. She wiggled under his weight. She could feel him through two last layers of clothing that were keeping them apart.

"Rick..."

he balanced the weight of his upper body on one palm and with the other, he began to touch her, starting with her cheek, caressing her face and admiring the feel of her skin against his hand.

His hand wandered down the side of her neck, her collar bone, feeling her skin fire up against his palm. She had her eyes closed. He wondered what his touch was doing to her. They were doing this after so long, he just wanted to imprint all of this into his memory forever.

His hand found her breast, and he watched as she opened her eyes to look at him, to watch the huger grow in him, he cupped her, and fondled her, and she writhed under his touch. He squeezed, and tweaked, and had her panting and softly whispering his name.

Her hand had reached out to cup the back of his head; she needed to kiss him, to feel that hunger on his lips, to show him how hungry she was for him. No, it wasn't a hunger, it was stronger, it was a thirst. Yes, thirsts felt stronger than hungers. She wanted to taste his lips again, and feast on them and devour them, devour all of him.

But he had plans of his own; his lips brushed against her collar bone, sending goose bumps down her body, adrenaline through her veins, and pure delight down to her core. His breath was warm against her skin. Everything was just really hot! And she was burning with desire. So much so, that she couldn't form coherent words for the life of her. There were words and strong emotions being created at the back of her throat but they were resounding through her lips as mere moans and whimpers.

His hand left her breast and wandered lower. She almost screamed at him because of the loss of his touch on her. Almost. But then she felt his touch again. He was caressing her hip; his fingers teasing near her inner thigh, then back up over her abdomen.

"Take it off" she whispered to him.

He looked up at her, and the look on her face, the way she was biting down on her lip, he could see her anticipation. It was just as naked as her.

He crawled back up to her and kissed her, invading her mouth with his tongue, making her mad. Her hands wandered down his back, holding him close to her. She had been craving this. This feeling of his strong body, over hers, covering her with all of his finely toned, rugged body.

It was that feeling of sinking into their bed under him that made her feel over powered by him. She rarely let anyone over power her strength, but there was something about the way he made love to her when he was on top, and it was happening again.  
Only this time, it was a mix of love, lust, longing, passion, and a flaming hot desire to just feel and be one again.

She didn't realize when and how it happened, but he had rid her of all clothing now. She was bare naked under him. She wondered how she was missing the parts where he made those moves. But then again, his lips were distracting her. She cradled his lower body between her legs, and grinded against him. A deep groan resonated in him and vibrated through his chest, and against her.

"Woman, the things you're doing to me!"

"Show me! Show me what I'm doing to you"

She sounded so needy that he swore he could have just gotten off on her voice." Her hand had inched down to slip into his boxers and find him. And god, if her palm could make him feel so good right now, he couldn't wait to be inside her.

"Take it off Rick! Now" she tried pushing the elastic of his shorts down, finally he took them off and aligned himself above her.

Both of them gloriously naked for each other, he kissed her again, and he could feel the warmth of her against his manhood, the pool of desire that he created there. he kissed her like there was no tomorrow, because really, he couldn't care less about a tomorrow, he was living out all he could tonight, cause he'd waited too long to be able to feel this connected with her again.

She sucked on his lower lip and he kissed and kissed until her entire body hummed for him. She was trying to grind herself against him, so he finally held himself at her entrance, and watched her as he entered her. Her face spoke volumes of what she was feeling.  
Hell if there was one thing he really admired about this woman, it was how responsive she was in bed. He hadn't moved, just placed himself inside her, and she already looked like she was ready to finish.

"Move castle!" She ordered.

He pinned her arms above her head, held them with one hand and began kissing her again, moving only slightly. She moaned in his kiss, he wanted to hear her, hear more of her, so his lips travelled to her jaw, kissing her jaw line and then down her neck, and then lower until he could tweak her pink buds with his teeth, just enough to make her body go crazy..

His free hand helped in giving her body sensations she'd been craving for months now, his hands wandered on her torso, his palms making love to her skin as he kissed and thrust into her slowly, yet sturdily.

There was a sound. It was so soft they could have missed it, had it gotten hidden among their own sounds. He stopped his ministrations on her.

"What was that?"

Kate looked around, and her eyes were drawn to the baby monitor at the same time they heard the soft cries of little Kaylee.

"She's got amazing timing" he panted. He was half joking.

She hit him playfully. "Rick!"

* * *

**well? ;) I know you have something to say. :) review please.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

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Chapter 13

"No seriously, now what?"

Kate was finding it hard to think with him inside her that way. But she knew this had to be interrupted.

"I hate to do this, but I need to get to her" she told him.

"I know" he said sadly.

He knew. Kate could never for a second bear the thought of Kaylee being in any kind of pain, or hunger, or anything that would make her cry. As soon as she would hear the soft angelic cry, she'd want to hold her and make everything alright for her. Kate had grown more attached to Kaylee, than any mother would ever be to her baby. Because not all mothers had been through what she'd been through. Kaylee was her little miracle, and she took everything about her seriously. Nothing, nothing could stand between her and her baby girl, whatever the situation may be.

She quickly put a robe on, rushed to the bathroom and was out in jiffy. But not before giving him a chaste kiss before departing. He called out to her

"What do I do until you're back?"

"Stay up will you?" she winked and eyed the tent that was formed on their comforter that was on him, covering him only up to his waist.

"Come back soon please"

Castle didn't like the idea of waiting this way. He was painfully hard for her, and he desperately needed her. But so did Kaylee, for other more important reasons obviously. He felt guilty for thinking this way, but right now, all of the blood he needed for his brains to work had gone south, and he couldn't for the life of him think straight. He needed Kate!

"Calm down big guy! No, don't calm down" he was talking in his head. But then his little conversation with himself was interrupted when he heard that beautiful voice again. The only difference now was it wasn't in person.

Kate must have not realized that castle could hear her through the baby monitor. From the sounds he heard, he guessed she must have picked Kaylee out of her crib to carry her. And then must have sat on that comfy sofa he had kept in there for when Kate had to nurse her. The baby monitor was usually kept on a table next to that sofa.

He listened carefully to her.

"Hey Kaylee, what is it honey? Did you have a bad dream?"

The little girl wouldn't stop crying.

"Now, now cupcake... mommy's here."

And then she began to hum a soft tune, it seemed to calm Kaylee down, cause her cries grew softer and softer until they completely stopped. Now all Rick could hear was the sweet voice of his wife singing to their baby girl. And it warmed his heart.

Kaylee made a soft little noise, and Kate chuckled.

"You look like you're in no mood to sleep tonight" the little girl made another little sound, and she sounded so playful.

"Well, you have impeccable timing honey... I would suspect you knew what we were up to"

She knew the little girl would not comprehend her, but she loved making conversation, and if the baby's expression was anything to show for it, she inturn loved when her mommy talked to her this way.

Kate kissed her. "Your daddy's going to get real upset if I don't go back to him, but I can't make you sleep either. You've got me in a fix."

The little girl's eyes shone and a tiny smile donned her sweet lips.

"Oh my god, you're so good at this. I can't even remember what I needed to go back to my room for" Kate adored her. She was always smitten by her baby girl.

'Oh wait, Castle. Junior Castle. Yes.' Her mind reminded her. But there was something about Kaylee that had her glued to her seat caressing her dear baby. And then she heard footsteps. She looked to the door to find Castle standing there, clad in his shorts and his v neck t-shirt.

"I'm sorry..." she began with a smile.

He walked in and interrupted her midsentence...

"Don't be, this is much better" he said as he sat down beside her and pulled her close.

She snuggled against his side and allowed little Kaylee to rest against her daddy's chest. She was so quiet with him, succumbing to the feeling of the slow rise and fall of his chest, and the soft cotton of his clothes against her cheek, she fell asleep listening to the soft beat of her daddy's heart, and Kate, soon after her daughter, gave into sleep too, against her husband's shoulder.

He couldn't sleep. There were two perfect examples of perfection in his arms, draped around him, and the love he felt for both of them was a little too overwhelming. He kissed them both.

He didn't care anymore that his night of pure bliss with Kate had been interrupted. Because here, with these two miracles in his arms, he was experiencing something stronger. A love that no sexual action could ever compare to. This was something else, and putting a word to it would lessen the beauty of it. So the writer in him stopped thinking. And the father and husband in him thought to himself "This is what I healed for. This is what keeps me going"

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**AN: That's all for now folks. I promise I'll update soon.**

**thecoolanonymouswriter (aka shona1243 on twitter) and I have started writing a new story together. Co authoring with her is super fun, and I think you guys should totally give the story a read. It's our way of coping with the finale . It's called 'The Universe and You' and you'll find it on her fanfiction account. Do leave us a review there too. **

**But first.. tell me what you think of this story so far :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. **

**Notice the rating. You have been warned. . **

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Chapter 14

Kate awoke suddenly and found that she had fallen asleep here in the nursery. Not just her, but castle too. And Kaylee was stuck to his chest like it was the most comfortable place to be in. Kate looked at the clock on the wall. It was 6 am. They still had time. She slowly got up, and Castle immediately felt the loss of his wife from his side. He stirred awake,

"Shhh" she'ssleeping. Kate brought Kaylee to his notice.

He nodded. She slowly carried her off of him and placed her in her crib. The little girl was sleeping peacefully. She then turned to her husband.

He was rubbing his eyes and yawning. Shetook his hand in hers and said "Come on"

"Huh?" he was still so sleepy. But he let her pull him off the seat and lead him out the door to their bedroom. He was still seeing blurred by the time she had pulled him into the room. His eyes always took a while to get clear vision when he just awoke from sleep. She made him sit on the bed and then she walked back to the door and locked it. He looked up at her through squinted eyes when the sound of the door lock clicked.

"Why are you...?"

And even before he could finish, she turned around, pulled the tie on her robe and let it fall off her shoulders and to the ground."

His eyes widened, sleep forgotten.

"Oh"

She smiled that naughty, sultry smile of hers. And he smiled back.

"I forgot that you were completely naked under that robe the entire time"

"I knew I'd have to remind you" she said as she walked closer to him. His eyes wandered over her body as if he had just won a game and she was his trophy.

"You like what you see?"

"You know it Kate"

she put one knee beside his thigh on the bed and did the same with the other knee on the other side of him, and sat on his lap, straddling him. Her arms were around his neck, her lower body grinding into him. He hated that she was fully naked and he was still fully clothed. But by god, her skin looked delicious. His hands wandered over her body, taking it's time to touch her everywhere. Her creamy skin, glowing in the soft light of the morning that was creeping in through the blinds of their windows.

Her lips clashed against his then, and he massaged the muscles on her back with one hand, his other hand fondling one of her breasts.

"Ummm" she hummed in their kiss, telling him exactly how much she loved and missed his touch.

She lifted herself a little off his lap, and he began to kiss her nipple, both his hands now, expertly moving over her waist and back, time and again taking a chance to touch her silky golden tresses of hair falling over her shoulders. She kept her hands steady on his shoulders, and she could feel the heat radiating off him through his clothes.

As much as she hated interrupting what his mouth was doing to her, she needed to get rid of his clothes right now. So she slowly pushed him away, reached down for the edge of his t-shirt and pulled it up above his head and off. She threw it to the other end of the room, and pushed him down to lie on the bed. He fell back with a thump.

The view before him was the most beautiful scene he'd ever watched. He swore he could spend hours studying every curve and edge of her body and never get tired or bored.

She leaned over him, until her eyes were directly above his, and her hair curtained their faces. He wasn't sure what she was looking at, but her eyes were fixed on his, and that's when he felt it, she began grinding herself on him, moving sinfully slow over him, he could feel his shorts getting wet with her movements on him. Gosh he was so painfully ready for her, why was he still clothed?

She was watching his eyes while tormenting him

"Kate... let me get them off first"

she kissed him hard. Sucking at his lips with everything she had, tasting him, their lips doing a dance, choreographed like they had never run out of practice. And she reached down and helped him get rid of the last piece of clothing.

And before he knew it, she held him in place and sunk down on him. His eyes shut tight. The feeling was out of this world. She was so tight, so wet, and so warm, she was designed for him. Made for him. She had taken him in fully, to the hilt. They both needed a moment to be reminded of how perfect this felt.

She closed her eyes and kept her hands on his chest. His heart was thrumming with enthusiasm under her palm. As was his manhood inside her. Even as she thought about it, she clenched around him and he sounded his pleasure. She kissed him for that, for always making her feel so good, for never being selfish, for dancing with her, and not trying to take the lead or even be led. For being so in sync with her all the time.

She kissed him and slowly moved, and he held her tight, one arm wrapped around her, the other at her him, guiding her to go on.

It wasn't too long until they both found they're release, words dripping with lust flew out of their lips, as skin slapped against each other, sweat aligned their bodies, two became one, and each drew out love from the other in its most humanly form, yet in a feeling too out of this world to describe.

Somewhere near the finish line he had decided he wanted to be on top of her, and she felt as if he had read her mind, he probably did, that was the only connection left to have with him. He had turned them over so gracefully that nothing was interrupted. Everything flowed beautifully. She came with his name on her lips like a prayer, and he came, watching her lose all control.

As she laid there over him, completely spent, her head resting over his chest, she was catching her breath. She suspected she had worn him out. After all this time, sharing this intimacy again with him must have drained him of energy. She looked up at him, he was staring up at the ceiling "You should sleep. You must be tired."

He looked at her with confusion written all over his face

"Are you kidding me? I want to do that again!"

She almost laughed at his excitement. But decided she wanted to do something else. She got up so that her weight was balanced on her hands beside his head, and her knees beside his stomach. And slowly she began kissing his neck, her lips moving sinfully against his skin, lower, till they worshipped his collar bone...

"Kate... wow.." he whispered as he closed his eyes to succumb to the feeling of her lips and tongue... her beautiful mouth.

Her lips kept moving lower, and he knew exactly where she was going, and he was already ready for it.

When her lips brushed over his pecks, he groaned loud.

"Shhh..." she whispered against his burning hot skin. "You don't want to wake her up right now"

"No... No i don't... not right now"

she chuckled and got back to worshipping his body, she kissed down his abs, the ups and downs on his body making her look to him as a work of art. And she sure knew how to appreciate art. Especially the kind branded "Richard Castle"

By the time her mouth reached the place he wanted it to, he had lost all senses. Except for the feeling of her around him, he could not feel anything else. He didn't want to either. This was enough. This was it. This was all he needed. She worked her lips on him like a sex goddess. And watching her, only turned him on more.

They're morning was adventurous, and gave them just the right kick start to the day. Castle was feeling rejuvenated. They showered together and helped each other dry off. They got dressed and then went down to the kitchen to start breakfast.

When Alexis entered the Kitchen that morning, she found her mom and dad standing near the stove, making out like teenagers did, while the pancakes were cooking.

She took a seat on the stool opposite them and she wanted to laugh out loud at the fact that they were so busy they still hadn't seen her.

"Ahhheeemm" she pretended to clear her throat, and they pulled away from each other like love sick teens would if their parents walked in on them. Kate's face was red. And Castle stepped a little behind her. His hair was a mess.

"Alexis. We were just..." Kate began to explain.

"Pancakes... Making pancakes…" Rick said for her.

"Yea." Kate nodded and began to flip the ones in the pan, the giddy smile on her lips shamelessly growing bigger.

"I'm sure you were" Alexis said, teasing them. Castle straightened his shirt and ran a hand through his hair.

"I better go get Kaylee" he said and disappeared quickly. Kate and Alexis both laughed. Avril joined them just then.

"What are you guys laughing at? What did I miss?"

Kate quickly said "Nothing" but her word was drowned by Alexis when she said "Mom and dad were having a heavy make out session when I came in here"

"I'm suddenly not in the mood to have breakfast" Avril said.

"Don't be ridiculous, we were just kissing. Nothing more." Kate defended.

"Yea. Even kissing. What? You guys didn't get enough last night?"

Kate looked up at both of them and she didn't have to say anything, the look on her face said it all

"Okay. Don't answer that... I think we got the picture."

"Got what picture?" Came Castle's voice, followed by him, holding little Kaylee in his arms. He brought her around to Kate and Kate gave her a sweet kiss on the head

"Good morning honey" she said to her baby.

"Picture of you two not getting enough of each other last night."

"Ughh! Avril! Stop it!" Alexis squealed. The two of them eventually got busy with some topic about a mutual friend.

Castle put his one arm around Kate while she continued flipping pancakes. He looked at Kaylee. But spoke to his wife.

"You think she's going to be like them too?"

Kate laughed. "What do you mean?"

"She's going to make a big deal about how we can't keep our hands off each other."

"In case you forgot big daddy, she already showed us last night that she has a problem with it" Kate said. And they both looked at each other and laughed.

"What are you guys laughing at?"Avril asked.

"Nothing" Kate said. "Eat you breakfast" she pushed their plates of pancakes in front of them and they began eating and that's when she felt castle's hand move lower down her back. She wanted to look at him and give him that death glare, but he was so fast.

He grabbed her rear and she found it hard to focus. So she pushed his hand away and turned and softly scolded him. "Don't! Not here"

she then took Kaylee from him and went around to put her in her high chair. He had a smug smile on his face; he leaned over the counter and began looking through the paper while sipping on his coffee.

They had all decided to go to the zoo today. To show Kaylee all the animals. And after that, out for lunch. After breakfast, the girls went back upstairs to get ready. Kate waited until she was sure they were upstairs and then she came and stood beside castle.

Kaylee was busy playing with her pacifier. She turned him around to face her and crashed her lips against his. She took his hand and placed it on her hip, and he let it wander back to cup her ass.

"You wanted me to touch you some more, didn't you?" he asked between kisses, That smug smile back in its place.

"Of course I did idiot" they chuckled and kissed some more, until Kaylee wanted their attention again.  
They happily gave it to her. They'd continue their little sexcapade tonight. ;)

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**Did you like the chapter? What do you think of the story so far? :)**


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